That's What Friends Are For Page 5

Louise shook her head in disgust. She was doing it again. Why did she always think of herself when she should be thinking of Charley? This wasn’t about her ideas and dreams going wrong. This was about her daughter trying to find her way in an often lonely and cruel world. Charley and Sophie falling out would hopefully only be a tiff; they fell out more than once a day and stormed off in opposite directions. But a text message would always have them running back. They were good friends, just like she and Sam were at that age. Sam and Louise: Louise and Sam. They came as a pair, sharing everything.

  Maybe she should talk to Sophie; see if she would tell her what was wrong with Charley.

  No, Louise decided, standing up now. She should at least try and talk to Charley again. If she could just get her to open up with a few simple questions, then she might confide in her mum without feeling that she’d been badgered into anything.

  She walked across to the bathroom door and knocked gently. ‘Charl?’

  ‘Go away!’

  ‘Just let me in. I only want to talk.’

  ‘No.’

  ‘I know there are some things that you can’t chat about with Sophie. But maybe I can help. I’ve been your age once, remember. I know what it’s like to—’

  ‘No, you don’t. You haven’t got a clue how I’m feeling.’

  ‘But I might be able to—’

  And what do you care about me anyway? All you care about is yourself.’

  ‘Charley! I—’

  ‘Just leave me alone, will you? I don’t want to talk to you, can’t you understand!’

  Louise snapped. ‘Fine. Have it your way,’ she spoke through the bathroom door. ‘But when you finally do show your face, you can tidy that room of yours. It’s like a pigsty in there!’

  Marching off, Louise groaned. Why had she ended the conversation like that? If there was something seriously wrong, Charley would never open up to her if she didn’t show any sympathy.

  She stormed downstairs in a mood with herself. Not only did she feel that she had to be mum to Charley but she had to be dad too. And it didn’t seem that she was any good at either.

  Chapter Five

  It was Thursday evening, closing time for Hedworth market, and it was minus two outside. Sam had no intention of going anywhere fast and Nicci was rinsing out the coffee mugs before she headed off for the evening. But Louise wanted to get home as quickly as possible and close the curtains on the dark and cold night. It wasn’t fit for anything else.

  ‘Come on, you two,’ she cried impatiently as she wrapped herself up to brave the elements. ‘I have a date with my settee, my jimjams and a bottle of wine.’

  ‘I’m not bothered about rushing home now that Jess will be there,’ Nicci moaned, wiping her hands on a tea towel. ‘Still, Wedding Belles is on tonight so I do have something to look forward to.’

  ‘I don’t how you can watch that program,’ Louise remarked. ‘Love’s dream never runs its full course.’

  ‘It will for me and Jay,’ Nicci nodded vehemently. ‘Not all marriages end up in divorce like yours.’

  ‘Not all marriages end up like you think they will, either.’ Louise sighed. Nicci was always going on about weddings. It drove her mad, each mention reminding her of her own failing.

  ‘You need to find the right man,’ Nicci responded, not put off by her sister’s exasperated tone.

  ‘I’ve got nothing to rush home for either,’ added Sam, as always the peacemaker.

  ‘Oh, hark at you two. Aren’t I supposed to be the one who’s got a boring life?’ I’m not in a relationship, yet I have a smile on my face.’

  ‘That’s because you have a bottle of wine,’ Nicci chided, pulling on her coat.

  ‘Precisely.’ Louise ignored her sarcasm. ‘Which is why I’m inviting you both back to mine for a drink right now.’

  ‘I’ve got work to do here first,’ said Sam. ‘I’ll probably leave when Mike does.’ Mike didn’t finish until six o’clock. It was his job to check everything was secure before locking up the building.

  ‘You work too much.’ Louise wouldn’t let it drop.

  ‘Well, count me in,’ said Nicci. ‘I really don’t want to go home to another argument.’

  ‘Will Jess be here long, do you think?’ Sam asked, remembering how angry Nicci had been when she’d told them her news.

  ‘A few weeks, Jay says.’

  Louise laughed. ‘She’ll be there for ages now she has her feet under the table.’

  ‘I hope not.’ Nicci lowered her voice, even though no one else would be able to hear her speak. ‘I can’t have sex knowing that she’s in the next room.’

  ‘Euw, you’re at it again.’ Louise wrinkled her nose in disgust before turning to Sam. ‘Anyway, what’s it to be then?’

  ‘What’s what to be?’

  Louise sighed dramatically. ‘Tonight. Drink. My place. I’ll even cook you something, if you like?’

  ‘I’ll take a rain check, if you don’t mind.’ Sam shook her head.

  Louise threw her hands up in exasperation. ‘See you tomorrow then.’

  ‘Night.’

  Once she was alone on the stall, Sam’s shoulders drooped in relief. After the hustle and bustle of the day, she loved to sit in the silence when most of the stall holders had left for home. It wasn’t as if she had anything to be there for right now, and even an evening with Louise, which she usually enjoyed, wasn’t exactly appealing either. She just hadn’t told anyone about Reece yet and she didn’t want to slip up.

  She wasn’t sure why she didn’t want to say anything just yet about him being in Germany. It wouldn’t make any difference, she supposed. But Sam kept a lot of things to herself. Louise was the outgoing, loud one of the two of them. Sam preferred to stay in the background as much as possible.

  Half an hour later, she heard the jangle of keys as Mike came to lock up. She grabbed her bag and threw on her coat before he came to check their aisle. She liked Mike but she wasn’t in the mood for small talk. Half wishing she had taken Louise up on her offer now, she let herself out into the chilly evening.

  As she stepped into the car park, she heard someone shout her name. Busy with her hand in her bag, searching out her car keys, she looked up to see Dan in the distance. Her heart lurched when he started to slip and slide towards her across the icy car park. He looked totally different wearing chunky beige work boots, jeans and a black parka coat, with a multi-coloured striped scarf knotted at the neck, but, she had to admit, he looked as sexy as hell.

  She hadn’t seen him since their illicit rendezvous three days ago. But she hadn’t stopped thinking about him, nor the kisses they’d shared either, and it frightened her.

  ‘Hey there.’ Dan’s smile widened as he drew level with her. ‘I thought you might like to grab a hot toddy somewhere before you leave? I could do with something to warm me up in this weather.’

  ‘I’m just on my way home,’ Sam told him, trying hard not to get caught up in the lust she could see in his eyes. ‘I’ve got so much paperwork to do.’

  ‘That’s a pity.’ Dan grinned at her cheekily. ‘Maybe I could join you?’

  ‘Maybe you couldn’t!’

  As he laughed, Sam blushed. When Louise had asked her about Dan again, after what had happened on Monday morning, she’d told her it would remain a one off. She couldn’t have an affair. And she wasn’t about to chuck everything away for a quick grope with a man she hardly knew, no matter how much her feet were telling her to run to him. Louise’s reply had shocked her. ‘Any fool can see that things have gone stale between you and Reece,’ she’d told Sam with real concern. ‘Maybe you need to get Dan out of your system.’

  Dan held up his index finger. ‘Just one drink. Where’s the harm in that?’

  Sam laughed inwardly. Really? He could see no harm in one drink?

  Or was he, like her, wondering what it might lead to? And was he, like her, wanting it to lead there? She made her mind up in a split second.

  ‘Oh, go on, then,’ s
he smiled. ‘Just the one.’

  Jess sat on the sofa, staring at the television but not actually watching it. Before flicking over to another channel, she glanced around the room. Her brother had done well for himself by meeting Nicci. A woman’s touch was evident by the faux leather cushions on the Caramac coloured three piece suite, the fluffy scatter rugs that warmed up the polished wooden flooring. Five church candles stood in a row on the top of an Adams style fireplace, the marble hearth holding bowls of fragranced balls and petals, their faint aroma mixing gently with the scents of the plug-in air fresheners.

  Nicci was certainly a stickler for cleanliness, not like Jess. Jess was a slob. Perfectly turned out from the outside, but wherever she laid her hat was her hovel. Strangely enough, she found the room calming, homely and extremely welcoming. Alas, she knew she wasn’t welcome.

  There was a whole world out there for the taking but she was stuck in Hedworth. Jay and Nicci had gone to the pub. Although Jay invited her along, Jess knew by the look on Nicci’s face that it was a no-no. So she’d changed into her sweats and slouched on the settee as soon as they had gone, the weather outside completely matching her icy mood.

  She was trying desperately hard not to think that she could have been having dinner at an exclusive restaurant with Laurie before they’d go off to have sex in a hotel nearby. Even though he was fifteen years her senior, Laurie had been an exceptional lover, thinking of her pleasure just as much as his own. What had started as a fling had grown into something much more for her, even though when he had ended it, she hadn’t shown him her true feelings.

  Jess missed him so much and not being able to talk about him to anyone made her sad. Although he technically wasn’t her man, she missed the intimacy; the feeling of belonging to someone, yet still being her own person. Even now, she kept wondering if she’d done the right thing by leaving London so quickly. Maybe she should have stayed and fought for him, even though he’d made it obvious that would have been tough.

  She flicked her legs up onto the settee and reached for the remote again. There must be something decent on to watch. A few minutes later, bored of channel hopping, she moved to the window. Staring out through open curtains into the dark night, the cul-de-sac outside was quiet. There were only a few houses, gardens all covered in snow that had yet to melt from two weeks ago. Not for the first time, she wished she was married and living in suburbia with two point four children.

  Involuntarily, she hugged herself, wondering what Ryan would be doing right now. From the moment she’d started to work on the stall again, he’d taken a personal interest in her welfare. He’d bought her a bacon buttie on Monday morning, coffee the next, a Danish pastry yesterday and coffee again today. And he was buying lots from the stall. One hundred grams of aniseed balls, two twenty pence mixtures for his twin five-year-old girls, cola bottles and humbugs for him and Matt.

  Today he had bought two sherbet dib-dabs, given one back to her and they’d dunked in their lollipops as they’d laughed together about Jay in his younger days. All the same age and inseparable unless there was a girl involved, Ryan, Jay and Matt had been known as the Three Amigos at school.

  Jess already had a feeling that Ryan would be up for more if she was interested. Anyone could tell that he was game even though he was married. She had never cared about being the other woman until she’d missed her period and done a pregnancy test.

  As it was prone to doing, her mind slipped back to that fateful night. It had been late, about nine thirty. They’d been out for a drink and decided to get a takeaway and go back to the office. All evening Jess had been priming herself, knowing she should tell him her news but she couldn’t get the words out. In the end, he’d asked her what was wrong. And when she did tell him she was pregnant, he’d flipped. It was one thing to have a bit on the side, he told her cruelly, but he would not have a woman with a child. He accused her of sleeping around, refusing to believe it was his, saying that she was trying to trap him. She’d rushed out of the building in floods of tears after he’d hurled more abuse at her.

  Back at her flat, she sat and cried, unsure what to do next. She received her answer the following morning, by text message. Laurie told her, in no uncertain terms, that she wasn’t welcome back at the office.

  Not one to give up without a fight, Jess went in to face the music. It was then that he’d given her a cheque for £5,000 to move on and forget. She took it, and, once she’d ensured that it had cleared, she’d booked a ticket back to Hedworth to stay with her parents. No amount of pleading with Laurie would change his mind. The money would help until she found her feet again and decided what she was going to do next.

  She’d only been at her parent’s home for a few hours before she realised it wasn’t the right place to be. Jess had left home at nineteen and hadn’t ever intended to come back. The first night there reminded her why. Her mum, a natural fusspot, followed her around like she would a toddler taking its first steps.

  ‘Are you sure you’re okay? You do look a little peaky. Shall I get you an aspirin?’

  ‘Do you need anything washing or ironing? Shall I hang your clothes for you?’

  ‘Did you sleep well? The room wasn’t too hot – or too cold?’

  To save herself from explanations, Jess told her that she’d been dumped. It had backfired hugely as Mum then had to do what mothers do best. She mothered her – or was that smothered her?

  Maureen had always been over-protective toward her but it was too much for Jess. The last straw had been when she’d waited for Jess on the landing before she went to have a shower and pulled her into her arms. ‘We’ll spend the day together, just you and me. We’ll go shopping, have coffee and cake in Somerley at the Coffee Stop.’

  It had been seven thirty in the morning. Unable to stand the thought of what lay ahead, she’d struck a deal with her father to help out on the stall and was on her way to work with him by eight. And then she badgered her dad to ask Jay, if she could come and stay with him and Nicci for a few weeks. It was far from an ideal situation, however. It was one thing to have her mother looking out for her every need but it was another to be ignored and spoken to only when absolutely necessary by her brother’s girlfriend. From the minute she’d arrived, Nicci had made it perfectly clear that the stay was to be a short one. She’d also taken a great interest in helping Jess look for a flat share.

  But much worse than that was, being at their home she could see just how much they loved each other. And it hurt. Over the past couple of nights, she’d walk in the room and they’d be kissing or groping each other. Sometimes they’d stop what they were doing; sometimes Jess would leave the room. How long had they been together now? Three years? How did they manage to keep the passion alive?

  Her thoughts turned back to Ryan. Maybe it was time to find out how far he really would go. She knew he would be hers if she played her cards right. He’d made enough remarks and instigated enough chats for her to know.

  She hugged a cushion into her chest. If she couldn’t find a man of her own, she’d settle for someone to pamper her, make her feel special. It was the way she was, finding comfort in being told she was beautiful and feeling desired. It was what she needed. Where was the harm in it?

  Besides, if it stopped her worrying about her future, then that was good too. Because right now, she had a potentially heartbreaking decision to make. One she wished she didn’t have to make by herself.

  Chapter Six

  The drink with Dan turned into two, albeit soft ones, as they were both driving. At first they stood up at the bar. Then they ordered chips and a burger apiece and found a quieter spot to eat.

  ‘I love this,’ Dan said, once they’d eaten and the plates had been taken away. ‘You and me.’ His voice was so low it came out as a whisper.

  Sam looked away as his gaze made her insides flip again. She pretended to be more interested in the chalk menu behind the bar. Why was this so wrong if she felt like this?

  Dan reached across the
table for her hand and gave it a squeeze. Sam checked her watch and gasped.

  ‘Crikey, it’s nearly nine o clock. Where did that time go?’

  ‘Time always goes quickly when you’re having fun.’ Dan rubbed his thumb back and forth across the top of her wrist. ‘We could always grab a coffee at mine, if you like?’

  Sam gulped. She knew she’d walked right into that. Dan was fabulous company. He laughed in the right places, never mentioning Reece, only to figure out the minor details. He’d even kept his lips to himself. She hoped she hadn’t led him on, just because she wanted to be with him.

  ‘I can’t,’ she replied, regret clear in her tone.

  ‘I know,’ he realised. ‘It’s just that it’s so hard to leave you. I’ve ached to kiss you again. I’ve thought about you constantly since Monday. You have too, haven’t you? Thought about me?’

  Sam nodded.

  ‘There’s a spark between us.’

  ‘We barely know each other.’

  ‘That’s true, but you can’t deny it.’

  ‘But there shouldn’t be!’ Sam pulled her hand away. ‘Can’t you see what you do to me?’

  ‘If you were happily married, you wouldn’t be here.’

  ‘You’re right.’ Sam stood up then. ‘But it’s because I’m married that I can’t see you again. I’m sorry.’

  They were silent for a moment amidst the general noise from the pub.

  ‘You do understand why?’ she asked.

  Dan sighed. ‘Unfortunately, I do. But it only makes me want you more – because you’re so warm-hearted.’

  Sam couldn’t help but grin.

  As they made their way back to their cars, Dan grabbed her scarf, pulled her towards him and kissed her briefly on the lips. The lightness of his touch made her cheeks burn.

  ‘Go,’ he said, ‘before I change my mind.’

  Sam’s feet refused to move for a few seconds before her brain engaged. With reluctance, she got into her car and drove away.

  Once back in the safety of her home, Sam raced up to have a shower. Unable to wash away the feel of Dan’s hand on hers, his lips on her cheek, she stayed under the water for a long time. Tears of frustration stung her eyes and she squeezed them shut to stop them falling. Spending time with him made her realise what a sham her marriage was. No wonder Reece worked away; wanted to spend time in Germany, under the guise of earning some extra cash. It shocked her to think how easily she could have been led astray. She knew as much as Dan that the invitation wasn’t just for coffee. If she’d gone home with him, she wouldn’t have been able to resist him.